There’s nothing wrong with getting in touch with your emotions – male or female. Many walk around stone cold acting as if such a thing is silly and inconsequential. We bottle up years worth of overdue and toxic emotions, thinking we’re fine.
“Everything is good. Everything is fine”, we say. And then we wonder why we can’t get close to people. We wonder why we can’t open up to people. We wonder why our most intimate relationships just don’t have the pizzazz that it needs to make it sparkle. We wonder why in a world with billions of people we still feel so alone.
In our youth, we are told “Don’t be a crybaby!”, “You’re a boy, and boys don’t cry!”, “Crying is weak and crying is for sissies.”
In our adulthood, we become ensnared in the trap of the daily grind. We are told to be strong. Our jobs tell us there is no room for feelings in the workplace. “Suck it up”, they say! “We have money to make!”
We get very little time to process what is happening to us and that includes the tortured emotions we are generating. These same emotions that end up getting buried for years, many of which we end up taking to the grave because we did not take the opportunity to acknowledge or express them. These same emotions that end up putting us in the grave, because it’s the pent up emotions (in our emotional bodies) that manifest disease in our physical bodies.
It’s no wonder so many resort to crying in the shower. I’m not going to say it’s the perfect solution to our emotional needs, but I will say that it’s therapy to many. Sometimes we have no other way of releasing our pent up frustrations, and if crying in the shower is a way to help that, then so be it.
Which that said, here are 9 reasons why I believe we end up crying in the shower.
1. IT’S PRIVATE. Sometimes, all we want is some privacy and for many, the only place to get it is in the shower. The door is locked and no one can barge in on you. There is no one to see you cry, so you don’t have to explain to others why you are crying. Sometimes, only you will understand and it just feels good to not have to explain your emotions to anyone. Sometimes, it’s no one’s business but your own.
2. IT’S COMFORTING. There’s just something about warm water that is comforting to our bodies. It envelops you like a warm cozy blanket and surrounds you like a hug. Hot water has a way of relaxing your muscles when you are tense, especially if you have one of those super cool shower heads where you may even get a massage. When you are cozy, you can more easily let your guard down and allow the tears to start flowing.
3. TRICKLING WATER SOUNDS. Just as the sound of water will make you tinkle, for some, the sound of water trickling can also well up the eyes. When sad, it becomes an involuntary response and you become unable to hold back the tears.
4. IT’S DECOMPRESSION TIME. With life being as hectic as it is and almost everyone being on the go-go-go, there is hardly any time to process anything. At work you are kept busy and the commute home may not be any better. Even at home and during your spare time, you are busy taking care of your household, your family, or focusing on matters of leisure. The emotions you’ve kept buried all day will oftentimes rise to the surface only when you are finally alone in the shower. These are the times when there is nothing else to focus on, nothing else to keep you busy. These are the times when you can no longer ignore the feelings, the times when you hit a realization, the times when the memories come flooding in, and the times when your Highest Self will start speaking to you.
5. IT’S A PLACE TO GET CLEAN. The shower is the main place we go to get our physical bodies clean. So why wouldn’t you associate it with getting your mental and emotional bodies clean as well? When it comes to toxic emotions, you subconsciously want to wash them off. You relate them to dirt on your body and you want to wash them away, let them flow down the drain, and feel clean again. This is why you love to jump into the shower after a long stressful day, even if you may not be physically dirty. You want to wash away the day, wash away the troubles of the world, and start off fresh again.
6. IT’S WHERE WE ARE NAKED. The shower is also a place where you are always naked. It is a place where you can be naked without shame, a place where the only option is to be naked, a place where you can allow yourself to be in your natural state, and a place where you can feel free. Your nakedness reminds you that you can also get naked on the inside and bear your soul, even if it’s only to yourself.
7. IT’S LOUD AND NOISY. Let’s face it. Most showers make a lot of noise. Oftentimes, the sounds of water splashing can be heard from outside the bathroom door or from an adjacent room. For those who don’t easily cry, it can be a daunting experience to hear yourself cry in silence. Your rawest emotions are sometimes intimidating and may even make others uncomfortable. In a world where emotional expression is glossed over and shunned upon, we are sometimes unable to deal with anyone crying. If you know you’re about to drop some major tears, the sound of the water will definitely help to cover up your sobs so that no one, (not even yourself) will hear you.
8. IT’S MAKEUP FREE. This one’s for the ladies. If you happen to be one of the women who wear make-up then you know quite well that in the shower the make-up is already off. It’s a place where you don’t have to worry about messing up your foundation or your mascara running. It’s a place where you can be free to cry as much as you want, where you can allow as many tears to run down your face without having to dab your eye every so often with tissue.
9. IT’S FAMILIAR. Showering is something we all do on a daily basis (well hopefully 😉). It’s a routine that has become a ritual. Most of the time it takes place in the home, the place where you can feel the most safe and the most in control. Humans are known to be creatures of habit. So is it a surprise that when you are in familiar surroundings, it becomes easier to lower your guard enough to deal with your emotions? When a part of you is about to go out of control, it’s always reassuring to know that you can at least be in control of another part – and that is your surroundings.
It’s great to know that so many of us can cry. This is a sign that we can still feel and that we’re not the cold sterile beings that the world is trying to make us into.
Perhaps in the future when humanity has learned to embrace our truest nature, and raw emotions are no longer so intimidating, we won’t have to resort to crying in the shower.
But until then, we will need ways to release our deepest frustrations and a place where we can be honest about our feelings, even if it’s only to ourselves. So if crying in the shower is a way for many of us, then it will just have to do for now.
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