Strength and Weakness

I disabled my alarm clock yesterday morning. It woke me up and I realized that I no longer needed it. Never in my entire life can I remember waking up and not having to be anywhere or do anything in particular. Never in my life can I remember starting the day with a blank slate. I choose when to awake. I choose what to do first. I choose how to spend my time. I choose where I want to go.

Can’t say this what the rest of my life will look like. All I can say is that this is a necessary step for me. One that proves to be extremely empowering and liberating. It is a practice in projecting my will, in standing in my power, and in honoring the Self. In my world right now, I stand tall in my energy and stand firm in my decisions. I’ve taken control. My being, my time, and my life is not at the mercy of the mass consciousness. I’ve taken control.

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I have been getting well acquainted with my Higher Self. The silence at home is working its wonders. I see where my strength lies. I see where my power lies.

My recent decisions to leave the workforce and fall into the abyss may seem reckless to some. Others think I’ve gone to the moon. Perhaps so, but I have made an affirmation to the universe. I’ve taken a stand for freedom. Freedom from the chains that bind us. Those chains of inadequacy. Those chains of insignificance. The belief that our will is of no importance. The belief that we are limited. The belief that we don’t have the power to change our reality. The belief that we are weak.

I never quite understood just how weak I thought of myself until two days ago. Always hating winter and the drudgery of frigid cold temperatures, it hurt deeply when everyday I was forced against my own will to go out into such harsh weather. Where was the strength in feeling forced and obligated to go to a job that I did not want to go to, or to do something that I did not want to do. I felt a sense of inner weakness and it showed up physically. I shuddered and huddled out in the cold, in the pain of my weakness.

Today I find the huddle no longer necessary. I am now in control. With newfound inner strength, I find I can easily withstand the harsh weather. When it is my choice and my will to go out, I can stand tall and face anything that’s out there.

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