And so here I am about to embark on a great journey. A great journey of love, opportunities, abundance, and service. How did I get here? What decisions did I make to bring me here? Well I can say that it’s been a process. A process of mine for the past few months now, but much of it has been coming to a head only quite recently, with all the best still yet to come.
I wanted change this year. I asked for change this year. In fact, I thought I would scream and tear my hair out if all remained the same. I begged for change.
And so the floodgates opened…
I have to say that this universe truly obeys our command, and showers us with exactly what we ask for, and then some. When you make up your mind to do something, those universal gears start creaking, shrieking, and turning just to make it happen. Put it out there, and “Your wish is my command”, it replies.
So here I am in a new apartment, a new town, a new job, a new living situation (two of my sons have flown the nest), and facing new opportunities. It’s a brand new world, a whole new reality. So much I left behind. How did I get here?
The month of June brought many changes (or should I say challenges). They say change is good, but so much change all at once can make you lose your footing. You sometimes forget who you are, but I suppose this makes it easier to become someone else, someone new. After all you may change your location, you may change your job, you may change what you wear, you may change what you eat, you may even change how you look, but if you haven’t changed your inner being have you really changed anything at all?
And so here I am now working towards my biggest hurdle, my biggest challenge in 2013- a change in identity.
As if the decision to go from a full time job to part time wasn’t challenging enough. I have taken a major pay cut and wonder how I will manage to keep my head above water.
As if the decision to work in Manhattan vs. my years of sheltered suburban commuting wasn’t hard enough. My time here in New Jersey has truly turned me into mush.
As if being dumped by someone who I thought was the man of my dreams (What little we know 😉 ) wasn’t heart-wrenching enough. Was it something I said? Something stuck in my teeth? Perhaps my portfolio wasn’t up to par?
As if the apartment search wasn’t trying enough. Couldn’t find the right apartment, in the right neighborhood, for the right price, for the life of me. And suddenly the clouds did part and the perfect place just fell right into my lap.
As if saying goodbye to two sons who would no longer live with me wasn’t sad enough. Though it’s great to be responsible for two less individuals. 😀
As if the crash of my PC wasn’t devastating enough. All my files were lost and then some. But it gave me the perfect excuse to buy an iMac, so I can learn new skills and now do so much more with graphics, music, and movies. Yippee!
As if the move wasn’t grueling enough. I packed an entire 2-bedroom apartment by myself and then restored it back to its original condition (or forfeit my security deposit). And later the unpacking and reorganization of personal belongings began and so on and so forth…
But what is all that? Is it all nothing compared to what I am about to face? A dear friend of mine has contacted me and presented me with an opportunity I could not refuse. But here’s the catch- for me to excel in this marvelous opportunity I have to change my ways. I have to change my total being. I have to change who I am and how I see myself. I have to do a complete overhaul, renovation, or a total rebooting of my system to where I operate under a new OS. This is the call of the hour.
All the changes last month have prepared me for this grand endeavor. After all I’m still standing aren’t I?
Then this too shall pass and this new individual shall emerge. No doubts whatsoever.